If you think that emotions are too difficult to express, consider how this may affect your health.
Science doesn’t completely understand the mind–body connection: chest pain when feelings are hurt, an ache in the pit of your stomach, gut-wrenching news that makes you nauseated, an endorphin rush when you are happy, butterflies in your stomach, or intense joy that makes it feel like your heart is opening. These are normal and natural emotional responses. In fact, emotional pain involves the same brain regions as physical pain, suggesting the two are inextricably connected.
The problem begins when the emotions get “stuck” through repression, incomplete expression, or continually replay. Emotions seem mysterious because they are invisible, intangible, and you may be unsure of what is the healthy way to approach them. Besides causing you emotional distress and affecting the way you interact with the world, they can sometimes cause bodily pain and symptoms.
Many people have unexpressed emotions or emotional patterns that are not healthy. Oftentimes, they are stymied and can’t seem to break through them. It is important to experience emotions fully.
If you don’t manage your emotions, then your emotions will manage you.
– Doc Childre and Deborah Rozman, PhD
Fresh Ideas to Extend Your Expiration Date
What does a healthy emotional expression look like?
- Acknowledge, accept, and identify how you are feeling. Acknowledgment requires paying attention and emotional awareness. Don’t judge the emotion as good or bad, right or wrong, or whether you should or shouldn’t be experiencing it. See if you can identify why you feel the emotion and if there is another underlying emotion. Rather than saying that you are angry, really identify why you are angry. Much of the time, anger is masking as disappointment, hurt, or grief.
- Experience the emotion (happy, sad, mad, grief) without getting caught in the story of why you feel the way you do.
- Breathe. You will notice with intense emotional experiences that you may forget to breathe or your breath will be choppy. Notice where you feel the emotion in your body.
- Express the emotion constructively to yourself first and others if it is necessary.
- Let it go. Once you have processed the emotion, move on. Don’t stay stuck on the story behind the emotion.
Pursue lifestyle strategies to process emotions more effectively. Practice relaxation techniques, deep breathing, emotional freedom technique (EFT), journaling, anonymous blogging, meditation, or prayer. Additional outside help may include counseling, neuroemotional technique (NET), or bioenergetic synchronization technique (BEST). Studies suggest that simply exercising equips the brain to better handle emotions. Sometimes emotions can be stuck in muscles. In some forms of movement and body work (such as yoga, massage, chiropractic, acupuncture, tai chi, or qigong), you may experience an emotional release, helping your body heal and reducing pain.
Learn More
The Relaxation & Stress Reduction Workbook, by Martha Davis, Elizabeth Robbins Eshelman, and Matthew McKay, is a comprehensive resource of well-organized, easy-to-practice techniques.
The EFT Manual, by Gary Craig, is a user friendly, complete guide for the EFT beginner. Or you can check out eftuniverse.com for a free EFT Mini-Manual.
